शुक्रवार, 4 मई 2007

Girlfriend v/s Wife .&. Boyfriend v/s Husband

साथियों, बहुत सारे ब्लॉग पढ़ने के बाद जब मैनें दो लेख एक जैसे पाये तो उनकों एक जगह करने का कार्य कर लिया । कई ब्लॉगर्स ने तो इन्हें केवल टाईटल बदल कर पोस्ट कर रखा हैं, इस कारण से ही मैं इनके मुख्य लेखक को नहीं पहचान पाया, लेकिन जो भी हो उसे इस Creativity के लिये धन्यवाद ।

प्रथम लेख:


Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, Beer With Buddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0, but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help !

Thanks,

"A Troubled User"
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REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about. Many people upgrade from girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 5.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support). I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command 'C:\APOLOGIZE ' because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0 etc.

STATUTORY WARNING:

DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,

Tech Support ...

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दुसरा लेख:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now, Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Thanks,

"A Troubled User"


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REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command "C:\I_THINK_U_LOVE_ME" and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications, Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a bad program that will create Snoringloudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT reinstall another Boyfriend program. This is not a supported application, and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

Best of luck,

Tech Support ...

7 टिप्‍पणियां:

Raviratlami ने कहा…

बंधु,

इसे हिन्दी में अनुवाद कर यहाँ डालो तो कुछ बात बने :)

Raviratlami ने कहा…
इस टिप्पणी को लेखक द्वारा हटा दिया गया है.
Shrish ने कहा…

हाँ जी हिन्दी में लिखो तो बात बने।

अभय तिवारी ने कहा…

इसे आप ब्लॉग ज‌ग‌त क‌ा 'क‌ह‌ानी घ‌र घ‌र की' ब‌न‌ा स‌क‌ते हैं..सीरिय‌ल‌ाइज़ कीजिये.. भ‌ग‌व‌ान ने च‌ाह‌ा तो आप हिन्दी ब्लॉग के प‌ह‌ले क‌म‌ाऊ-पूत ब‌नेंगे.. मेरी दुआएं..

Sanjeet Tripathi ने कहा…

भैय्या, इहां सबन को हिंदी ही चाहे का है।
इ सब को आप जरा हिंदी मा लिखे होते तो हम सब अंग्रेजी अनपढ़ लोगन को सहूलियत हुआ रहता ना

Mired Mirage ने कहा…

:)
ghughutibasuti

Raviratlami ने कहा…

हाँ, अब कोई बात बनी. हिन्दी में पढ़ने का मजा ही कुछ और है.

आप WIFE 1.0 को वाइफ़ 1.0 लिख सकते हैं. इससे भाषा लिखने व पढ़ने में और प्रवाह बना रहेगा.

धन्यवाद एवं शुभकामनाएँ. :)